Category Archives: DINKS on the Farm

November 2007

Saturday morning, November 3, 2007 – Lazy Farmers

Last week we got our property re-appraised. This was a very stressful milestone for us: increasing the property’s value (by making it habitable) cost us a lot of cash, and we had bills to pay asap. We needed our property to be reappraised by a significant amount more than what the land itself was worth, in order to borrow more money from our credit union and pay off our debts.

Brock guessed that the new pumphouse, well pump, septic system, mini-garden, fill, electric lines and 576 sq. ft. market/house would be worth about $30,000 (he’s a pessimist). I guessed $50,000 but hoped for $75,000. Actual worth? All our hard work this summer/fall, our 24/7 days of stress and physical exhaustion and expense, increased the value of our property by $100,000. Holy gees. We almost died when Banker Nils told us.

What this means is that not only can we pay off all our debts/bills earned over the summer, but we can also (ohmigod) buy a tractor. Perhaps that seems like an odd “ohmigod” sort of purchase, but the fact is that a tractor is NECESSARY if our farm is going to be anything more than 10 acres of weedy dirt. We could rent/hire someone to do the work for us, but that’d be unnecessarily expensive. And, as farmers, our tractor is a write-off. Who’d have guessed that the first two vehicles I’d ever own would be a Dodge Dakota farm truck and a tractor? I’ve come a long way from my dream of a 1984 yellow Volvo station wagon with neon green plaid interior.

Anyhoo, now that we’re financially okay, our frantic to-do list has become more casual. We’re doing small projects, like installing the bathroom mirror and shelves in the kitchen. We’ve invited our friends Kyle and Chrissy over for dinner tonight. Brock’s gone back to reading his 1970s “classics” and I’m enjoying my day job more. It helps that it’s almost winter and we can’t spend every waking minute in the garden, and that the days are so short. We’ll have the winter to charge ourselves, order seeds, design our gardens and figure out our plans for the growing season. I can learn to make cheese, pickle/can veggies, bake bread, and all the other things I want to learn for next year. We can visit some neighbouring farms and see how they operate. And . . . we can browse tractors!!!

In other news, I built Peter his Winter Villa. He’s SO happy. It took me an entire weekend and almost $200 in supplies, which even I acknowledge is a little excessive for a rabbit. Regardless. It’s 32 sq. ft (4ft by 8ft), with a sloped roof that I SHINGLED, and three very large, chicken-wired windows. I filled it with a bale of straw (for warmth) and a huge stack of alfalfa hay (to eat), Peter’s favourite toys, water bottles, his food dish, and I bring him fresh veggies from his cilantro & carrot garden daily. He’s only about 10-15 ft from our kitchen window, so I can check on him when I eat dinner, and he’s just a quick walk away.

A deer checks out Peter’s custom-built rabbit hutch.

The best part is that he’s going speed dating tomorrow. The one thing lacking from his bunny heaven is a friend — I can tell he’s lonely and bored. He spends a fair amount of time staring out his window, watching us coming & going. He needs someone to cuddle and play with for the winter. So we’re going to the SPCA, and Peter will have a few hours to meet a variety of female (spayed!) rabbits, and we will hopefully bring one home with us. I’m a little nervous, because Peter’s never been a very rabbit-social creature. He prefers to snuggle with my feet, or stuffed animals. But I think he’s matured enough to potentially bond with another rabbit. I’ll at least give him the chance to try!

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Wednesday night, November 14, 2007 – It’s too cold outside to be farming

Tomorrow I’m taking Delilah to the vet to get spayed.

After we adopted Delilah (nee Honey) from the Victoria SPCA on November 4, she’s been busy making Peter fall in love with her. To record for posterity, here is the tale of their first date:

One relatively sunny November Saturday, Peter the Rabbit went speed dating. His first encounter was with a rather large bun named Sally, who was well-known to staff for her docile temperment. She sniffed Peter, Peter sniffed back, and soon they were fighting, claws and everything. No one was harmed, but I feared Quinn’s prediction (Peter, doomed to bunny bachelorhood) was correct. Then we tried Sally’s sister, who was known to be feisty-er. That didn’t work either.

Then they brought in Honey, a six month old brown Holland lop that looks EXACTLY like Caramel, and made me feel guilty. I hoped Peter wouldn’t like her. But she went straight to him, licked his nose, climbed onto his head and started humping his face. Peter was so shocked / in love he didn’t even bite her. Honey continued humping and grooming him, and even climbed into Peter’s litter box (aka Safety Zone) to cuddle with him, and he didn’t mind at all. I was astonished. We took Honey home, and on the drive I named her Delilah, for taming my wild bachelor rabbit.

Anyhoo. Delilah’s getting spayed tomorrow, which will likely be a great relief to Peter. I tried to keep them separate for the first few days on the farm – Peter in his Villa, Delilah in Peter’s old cage in the pumphouse – but they both looked so lonely and bored that Delilah moved into the Villa within 48 hours. (I’m such a pussy.) Since then, they seem to have negotiated some compromise between Delilah’s hormones and Peter’s introverted nature. They spend a lot of time cuddling (aka Delilah sits on Peter and licks his forehead). And they’ve even built a burrow in their straw together.

I’m a little worried that the surgery tomorrow will be bad for Delilah. I had a bunny die after being spayed (because she was a MALE), and I don’t trust vets anymore when it comes to bunnies. But this is a new vet, and they told me NOT to starve Delilah pre-surgery, due to rabbit sensitivity, so at least they understand that part of rabbit nature. We shall see.

In other news, it’s cold and rainy and windy and dark here all the time. It sucks. It’s sort of okay to be stuck inside all evening, since we’re both still pretty exhausted after the stress & exertion of the summer, but we’re also so eager to start on the farm — the planting, building a greenhouse, making the property look decent, finishing the house/market — that it’s frustrating. Brock’s reading some book called “You Can Farm” and I’ve started a personal almanac. We’re investigating organic certification, contemplating marketing strategies, and not washing our dishes.

Hey, interesting (and smelly) epiphany: a two person family produces a lot of organic compost in a week! We’ve been saving our egg shells, tea bags, lettuce cores, rotten tomatoes, etc. in a big Tupperware container, and boy, that container fills up REALLY fast. It also gets smelly. I want to start a worm composting thingy, so I can feed all that stuff to them and they’ll turn it into black gold (that’s farmer talk for good dirt).

Here’s an interesting exchange Brock and I had the other day, after he read about growing grain crops:

BROCK: We can grow oats! We could eat our own oatmeal!
HEATHER: Ew. I hate oatmeal.
BROCK: Me too.

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Friday, November 30, 2007 – Everybody’s working for the weekend

Delilah survived her surgery 🙂 We kept her inside with us for a few days, but she got antsy and Peter was staring at me when I went to feed him so I put them back together in the Villa. All is well, except that their water bottle freezes every night and I have to empty it out and refill with warm water every morning. Next winter, they’re spending it inside my writing studio.

Meanwhile, it has begun. We started this year as McDonald’s-craving, Starbucks-card-holding urbanites, and now we’re organic-farming hippies. I thought we were holding out quite well, despite the 10 acres of chemical-free farmland: Brock still drinks Coke. I had an A&W Mozza burger and fries for lunch this week, AND LOVED IT. Then Brock decided we was off tea.

“But tea’s healthy for you!” I said, “except for the caffeine, I mean.”

For Brock, drinking tea is an excuse to consume liquid sugar. The man adds a minimum of 4 heaping teaspoons of sugar.

“I’m getting fat again,” he said.

Then we had chicken for dinner. Frozen Costco chicken boobs, “seasoned” with something: the cheapest way to add poultry protein to your diet. I cooked an extra breast for Brock’s lunch the next day. Later that evening, Brock put his plate by the sink: a steak knife was sticking out of the chicken. Red spaghetti sauce and all.

“I think I’m done eating factory chicken,” he said.

So now we’ve started this slippery slope, and what with the organic farm we own there’s no going back. I bought organic Christmas oranges the other day. They were the same price as the normal ones, and they looked okay, so I bought them, despite feeling like some LuluLemon-loving Vancouver vegan. And they tasted 1,000,000 times better than the non-organic oranges we’d had the week before. Maybe because it was later in the season? I don’t know.

People have always assumed I recycle. It pisses me off. And now I don’t know what will happen, if I buy into this “eat organic!” fad. I’ll become predictable. I’ll become my stereotype.

But real food really does taste better than the mainstream factory shit.

Hey, and think of this: when I buy peanut butter, I don’t buy the cheaper, inferior stuff. I know it will disappoint me. Ditto for ketchup: it’s Heinz all the way, despite the 200% higher cost. So why not be picky with my veggies/meat too? Why is okay to prefer the brand-named processed products over the no-names, and pay the higher expense, but not to choose the (sometimes) more expensive staples over the inferior ones?

October 2007

Friday, October 19, 2007 – Official Homesteaders

Sometimes it’s go great I want to take a picture – sometimes we want to cry. Our kitchen turned out to be beautiful, considering it’s comprised of the cheapest cabinets, laminate flooring, range hood and countertop we could find. The two stainless steel appliances (our fridge and washing machine, bought for the long-term) look a little out of place, but all in all it’s a truly beautiful “room” in our wee home.

The bathroom is similarly attractive – lots of cabinets for storage space, everything fits nicely, etc. At the same time, our shower continues to leak despite multiple caulk/silicone applications, and our toilet has decided that it doesn’t like flushing. We finished installing the wall cabinets in the bathroom last night (well, Brock did – I was holding his chair and passing him the level, etc.) and it was a paradox that we’ve come to expect: huge satisfaction in getting something DONE, and it looking surprisingly great . . . but some fatal flaw would require more work, more inconvenience, and possibly more expense.

I think the big lesson I/we have learned this summer is that the housing market is not designed for spontaneity. It’s best to hire a contractor when you build a home. And in order to actually GET a contractor, you need to plan years in advance. Brock and I are rather impetuous when it comes to our Dreams, and I don’t regret acting on our “let’s farm NOW” desires, but it all would have been (and would be!) much, much easier to get someone else with experience to do the work for us, whom we can hold accountable when something goes awry.

If we survive this (emotionally, physically and financially), we will be Super Heroes.

Some happy thoughts:
1. every morning I wake up to a backyard covered in mist, with the brightest stars I’ve ever seen still in the sky.
2. we have deer that visit us (and eat our carrot tops), which isn’t a good thing farm-wise but is still beautiful when I see them.
3. the birds are incredible. They’re all flying south now, in their big Vs and Ws, and I have to stand still and watch each time. (Ravens suck, though.)
4. each room/section we complete looks WAY better than we expected.
5. Peter loves his fresh cilantro and carrots.
6. I’ve learned how to use tools (e.g. skil saw, drill, electric screwdriver, table saw).
7. Brock and I have never slept so well.
8. I have arm muscles.

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Sunday, October 21, 2007 – Official Homesteaders, Back From Vancouver

We went to a wedding in Vancouver this weekend, which was wonderful but left us little time to progress with our to-do list here. When we got home around 2pm today I crashed immediately and slept until it was just getting dark out. Meanwhile Brock was Super Productive (yay!).

Saturday morning at 3:00 we woke up to our septic system’s alarm going off (I just thought the overhead fan was being oddly noisy). The heavy rain this week had flooded the tanks, which apparently need to be sealed up better. It was a stressful morning, me calling everyone even remotely septic-y, trying to find someone to diagnose our alarm while Brock risked sinking into the mire of our backyard, digging a trench for the water to follow away from our septic tanks.

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Thursday, October 25, 2007 – Hardworking Garlic Farmers

I got distracted last entry and couldn’t finish, so before something else needs attention here are some crucial updates:

  1. toilet works fine. We called the plumber that first day and he pointed out we hadn’t switched the septic pumps on, thusly the toilet could not flush properly. Felt like gomers. Cost $77 for the plumber’s house call. Dammit.
  2. septic is still not perfect, but Steve told us how to disable the alarm so at least we aren’t being woken up by sirens in the middle of the night. They need to come out asap and re-seal the tank, before it rains and becomes a mud bog again.
  3. we’ve submitted our “farm development plan.” If our property is considered a farm (normally, this means we’ve grossed min. $2,500 from produce, eggs, etc.), our annual property taxes are $85. If we aren’t considered a farm, property taxes for our 10 acres of prime land = $24,000. Holy shite. The solution for new farm owners like us, who haven’t grossed $2,500? We had to submit a farm development plan, essentially promising that we intend to be Real Farmers in 2008. If our application isn’t convincing enough, we’re screwed.
  4. pastoral life is so fun and relaxing . . .
  5. I planted garlic tonight!!!!!!!! I’ve been meaning to do it for weeks — the traditional garlic planting date is October 15 (at midnight, naked, according to the garlic guy at the farmer’s market), but we’ve been too busy and haven’t had enough daylight to plant. I did it asap after work today, and got a whole 15-ish ft. row planted. Let’s do math:
    10 bulbs x 6/7 cloves each + perfect growing conditions = 60/70 new bulbs of garlic per row. That means I planted enough garlic to last us a year (or more) within an hour. That seems bizarrely efficient to me, especially as a once-government-employee. I still have 30 or so bulbs left (= 210 more bulbs!!!!!!), and anything else I plant (assuming perfect growing conditions) is for sale or gifts, etc. The best part is that garlic requires NO WATERING. Honestly. That’s what the farmer guy said. I just plant the cloves (with about 6 inches of shit/manure underneath) and let them hibernate over winter. Etc. That’s my kind of plant!
  6. Oh, and we got our well water tested. It’s bad. The “colliform” count is supposed to be zero, and ours is 707. That concerned me, but “colliform” isn’t poop or anything (there’s no ecoli or fecal matter), it’s just dead plant matter. So I’m trying to think of it like soup. All our neighbours have perfect water, so it has to be the well or water lines that are contaminating everything. Brock’s dad suggested we let the water run for a day or more, to clear it out, so we’ll do that before anything complicated/expensive. (Doesn’t that seem weird, when we’re all so used to paying for our water usage? I’m water wealthy. I’m a water glutton.)

ANYhoo, I think those are all the crucial info bits. I keep leaving loose ends in my entries, which must make it sound like we’re living in a hovel with no working toilet. Let me assure you, our toilet is fine, it’s the water that’s killing us.

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Sunday, October 28, 2007 – Sunday Dinner After a Weekend on the Farm

Happiness = this life.