I ran into an acquaintance at Thrifty’s the other day that I haven’t seen in years. He asked when our garlic would be available for sale at the farmers market.
This happens every few months: I have to break the cancer news to someone who had no idea, who was just making the usual small talk that happens when you encounter a familiar face. I’m not the sort of person to say “we’re fine” and keep quiet: instead, I drop the cancer bomb and watch as the friend’s face shifts through all those familiar stages. Shock, denial, grief.
I can hear the synapses firing in their brains as they struggle to figure out what to say. Most people express how truly shitty and shocking it all is. Many reveal their own family/friend cancer struggles. A few people try to solve Brock’s cancer, which is a natural human response but unhelpful given that most people aren’t oncology specialists.
Brock and I chose to be very public about his cancer diagnosis. We literally sent a press release to the local newspaper. My journalist peep and co-author Sarah Simpson had once told me that “news” was “anything that people want to know about,” and I figured a lot of people in our community would want to know that Brock had terminal cancer, and that our farm would no longer be operating. They were relying on us for their carrots, for chrissake.
My body still remembers that RELIEF it felt when the newspaper story was published (on the front page, above the fold, full colour family photo — I love small towns). Finally I wouldn’t have to drop the cancer bomb everywhere I went. Instead, without saying a word, I got hugs and sympathetic “How are you all doing?” questions. Wow, that relief … Instead of me and Brock and our families carrying this pain, suddenly hundreds of people shouldered it along with us.
So, while I don’t often have to break the cancer news to people these days, it does sometimes happen. As evidenced by my grocery shopping friend.
The thing is … that moment before I told him about Brock dying and about how we’d sold our farm, we’d been two normal adults catching up by the deli counter. Normal people would have discussed the heat, our ever-growing children, and maybe some major life news like moving house or changing a job.
But then the cancer bomb drops and BOOM, things are suddenly serious.
I watched the bomb fall and through his eyes I saw his brain working, searching for the right words, and I realized how Brock and I are not living a Normal Life anymore.
It’s been a gradual change.
The move from our tiny farmhouse to a rented apartment, the sale of the farm, the sales of all that equipment. His naps, his weight loss, his lungs being eaten up by tumours.
On Facebook I see friends’ photos of family camping trips, someone setting out on a Bucket List adventure. Normal people make plans for 2018. They complain about their jobs.
Brock and my world is no longer this Normal world. Our world is visits from home care nurses and palliative care specialists. I set timers to ration Brock’s limited energy. We talk about financial planning for when I’m a single parent. I build Lego sets while Brock naps through the afternoon.
It’s been almost three years of slowly warming water, the changes so gradual that we’ve managed to be Stoic (capitalized because I mean the philosophy) about the whole experience.
Ironically, here’s a conversation we had back in the early 2000s, before Isaac was even born:
HEATHER: I’ve been researching delivery vehicles for the farm and I think we should get a minivan.
BROCK: A minivan? Ugh. I feel so … normal.
HEATHER: Don’t worry. We opted out of normal a long time ago.
Inspired by our January felting & looming workshop at Leola’s Studio, Renaissance Woman Sheila challenged the rest of us to commit to creating art every day for a month.
We thought it was a great idea, and each signed up for a few days in February. (Not coincidentally, the shortest month of the year …)
As a result, 28 pieces of art were created by our collective of members. On March 2 we came together at Teafarm to celebrate Art Month and “show and tell” our work.
Love Is In The Air, 2013, Sheila Ie (graphite, chalk pastel, oil pastel on Canson Art Paper)
February 2
A homemade-from-scratch Thai dinner, by Cindy J:
Thai tofu and vegetable stir fry with Thai peanut sauce.Thai hot and sour soup.Thai salad rolls with an authentic dipping sauce.Delicious fried pineapple with fresh lime and toasted coconut for dessert!
“Morning Cupcake, Any Way I like It,” by Sheila Ie:
“Morning Cupcake, Any Way I like It,” Oil Pastel, Ink and Chalk Pastel, by Sheila Ie
February 8
Tessa says: “I gave myself a one hour time limit and the task of creating a thank-you card for a friend.”
“Heart beets,” by Tessa (lino blocking)
February 9
Brenda says: “I like to create small spaces for special things in my home and office. This is my Wild Woman corner that I have had in every office for a decade – my ‘wild woman’ does not like sitting in front of a computer all day, so I give her things to play with while I am working. I just made this one yesterday in my new office – I change it up from time to time just to keep things fun.”
February 10
Maeve says: Acrylic on canvas paper. First time painting with something other than children’s washable paints. I call it “What my heart looks like on the inside when I watch my daughters dance an Irish jig in their pyjamas.”
“What my heart looks like on the inside when I watch my daughters dance an Irish jig in their pyjamas,” by Maeve (acrylic on canvas paper)
February 11
Cindy J’s art: “It is wet felted and finished with needle felting. My inspiration was drawn from the amazing new energy and growth being brought forth by spring, so appropriately titled Spiralling Energy.”
“Spiralling Energy,” by Cindy J (wet felting)
February 12
Patrick Friesen, poet
My 2nd art day! I gave myself an art moment by attending one of the Writers on Campus poetry readings. It was WONDERFUL to hear poetry in Duncan. Here are some of my favourite lines from Patrick Friesen tonight:
“I felt like I was walking over a plowed field.”
“You come home with stones from the beach and then you wonder why you bothered.”
” . . . naked in your green dress . . .”
“I don’t like long cars. They hold a human like a tiny seed.”
Also, the word “anaphora.”
February 13
Preschooler Valentines by Sheila Ie, made with construction paper, tissue, glue:
Preschooler Valentines by Sheila Ie, made with construction paper, tissue, glue
February 14
Patti says: Meet “Florencia,” my beautiful piece of turquoise seaglass found at Florencia Beach, Tofino. I made a lovely cage for her out of copper.
“Florencia,” by Patti (beach glass and copper)
February 15
“Tofino Dream Catcher,” by Patti:
“Tofino Dream Catcher,” by Patti
February 16
Linda’s poem:
To the mountains! we declared.
A roaring midnight fever
silenced our call.
This rare February day
so bathed in sunshine,
now spent indoors
snuggled on a couch
with books tottering
piled high on blanket folds.
We took council by the fire
with chicken soup
and stories of camping
years past and those to come.
And tonight I sit in gratitude
for tottering books
and this messy life
with her gifts
of unexpected pauses
and so full of fevered blessings.
February 17
Maeve playing “Chariots of Fire” on the piano with video footage of her amazing daughters:
February 18
For my 3rd art day I experimented with hand-quilting designs, using some drawn designs and some freehand. I usually just stitch the seams of my quilts (straight lines), but after seeing Angie’s designs on one of her quilts I was inspired to try this. This quilt has been my “play” quilt — I used it to learn how to hand-stitch curved pieces.
Hand-quilted designs by Heather McLeod (back of quilt)
Front of quilt (look carefully to see the yellow thread …):
Hand-quilted designs by Heather McLeod (front of quilt)
February 19
Katie made fridge magnets featuring Bruce Springsteen. She says: “The picture of him in the toque is from 1975, the year Born to Run came out.”
Bruce Springsteen fridge magnets, by Katie Harris
February 20
Angie says this about her quilt: “I’ve been working on it since November, with a fabric line called Botany. It’s my first full quilt, and a whole lot more work than I had anticipated (I thought it would be done for Christmas, which is so comical they could make a movie about it). I used a shot glass for the circle patterns, a ruler for the lines and a leaf template for the, well, the leaves 🙂 Today, to make sure I was doing something arty and specific to to our goal of trying something new, I changed up my pattern for the edge (gasp!), which I was going to leave plain, and did some crazy freestyle.”
Angie’s quilt, with hand-stitched designs.
February 21
“When the dog bites, when the bee stings,” by Heather K. (mixed media collage)
“When the dog bites, when the bee stings,” by Heather K. (mixed media collage)
February 22
Sheila Z. calls this ”The Art of Thrifting.” She says: “a roll of salvaged vintage upholstery webbing, a thrifted hanger, and a creation to chart your little bundle of love’s growth.”
”The Art of Thrifting,” made by Sheila with salvaged materials.
February 23
Pressed flowers from last summer made into tiny fairy cards made Linda D:
Pressed flowers from last summer made into tiny fairy cards by Linda D.
February 24
Heather K says: “This is what happens when the dog wakes the baby from his nap, the one you were counting on to make some art! This was co-created by myself and daughter Sami after a family hike down to the water where we found the driftwood. It’s called “fairy seahorse”. Her vision; I merely followed instructions.”
February 25
Cindy J says:
Yoga! I feel an hour and a half practice is most definitely an artistic expression. And since I cannot share this visually with you (thank goodness), here are some of my feelings, emotional and physical, during yesterday’s art of the practice of yoga:
breathe
open
focus
calm
grow
holy moly I can’t hold this any longer
free
moonlight
still
strong
revive
alive
Namaste, my Renaissance sisters.
February 26
When one of our members was unable to art it up, Sheila Z. came to rescue with this snazzy magazine holder. She made it using burlap from the same roll she turned into her February 22 art, plus a thrift shop-ed frame (shown on the top left). Final product is on the right!
Magazine stand, made with salvaged materials from thrift shops.
February 27
“Jewelry Graveyard Resurrection,” by Tessa.
She says: “My art tonight was taking a few broken necklaces, and mending and mixing them together to make a new one! Many of my ‘art’ projects are often more creative repair projects.”
Jewelry Graveyard Resurrection, by Tessa.
February 28
“Quick trip on a Rocket Ship,” by Sheila Ie (Oil Pastel, Chalk Pastel, Black Ink Pen, Illustration Marker, Paper 2013)
“Quick trip on a Rocket Ship,” by Sheila Ie (Oil Pastel, Chalk Pastel, Black Ink Pen, Illustration Marker, Paper 2013)
