I’ve told a few friends about what I’d say on a suicide crisis help line to people considering death as an option, and they’ve said it’s a helpful approach, so I’ll share it with you here too:
The Right to Die
I believe everyone has the right to die. I don’t judge people who choose to end their own lives: that’s their call, and if it eases their suffering (physical or emotional or mental) then I understand why death is a tempting solution.
But given that death is final — the most final option available to us — I propose we list suicide as our Plan Z. It’s something to try when all the other less-final alternatives have been attempted, and haven’t worked.
That leaves us with 25 alternatives: Plans A through Y.
25 Alternatives
The Easiest Alternative
Plan A (the easiest plan) is to do nothing: to not change anything in our life. But usually Plan A will fail because the person who is considering suicide finds their current life or mental state intolerable.
So Plans B through Y involve making some sort of change.
The Extreme Alternative
The closest I’ve ever been to considering suicide was when I was in my 20s, but my depression/anxiety never got bad enough to make me want to die. I just craved numbness: the world was overwhelming and too rough for me. I didn’t want to feel anything anymore.
That’s the closest I’m been to understanding the wish to die, so we’re going to work with that desire for numbness.
Obviously death provides that numbness, which makes it a good choice for Plan Z. But drugs (alcohol, meth, heroin, etc.) also are super at numbing us to the world.
So Plan Y = drug-induced oblivion.
Alternatives C through X
We now have three potential courses of action (Plans A, Y and Z), which leaves us with 23 others.
Those alternatives include (in whatever order you choose to place them, from easiest to most intimidating):
- quitting your job
- moving
- breaking up/separating/divorcing
- estranging yourself from your family
- exercising
- calling a suicide help line (numbers are below) or calling 9-1-1
- travelling to some faraway country
- choosing an impossible dream and abandoning everything else in your life to pursue it
- retail therapy: max out those credit cards and buy the X you’ve always longed for
- plastic surgery
- putting your kid(s) up for adoption, or leaving them with a friend or family member for awhile
- going to school or learning a new skill that interests you
- eating anything you want
- starting a blog where you write down your most personal experiences and thoughts
- adopting a pet
- anti-depressant medication
- sharing photos of your life on Instagram or etc.
- telling person X what you’ve always wanted to tell them, even though it’s super embarrassing/scary/painful/awkward
Et cetera.
If you’re able to make a plan to end your life, why not use that small reserve of energy to try Plan B instead? And if that doesn’t work out, Plan C. Plan D. And so on.
The Fallacy
The problem with my 25 Alternatives approach is that when someone is depressed enough to consider suicide, they might not be able to dig themselves out of that pit enough to see the logic of this approach.
So it’s best to consider these alternatives before you’re that sad, and then maybe someday, when you find yourself considering death as a viable option, you’ll remember you have 25 less-permanent options to try first.
Suicide Crisis Help Lines
9-1-1
In Canada:
1-833-456-4566 (24 hours/daily)
Resources on this webpage.
In British Columbia specifically:
1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
Click here for online chat lines from noon to 1am.
In the US:
1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433) (yes, the same number as in B.C.)
text MATTERS to 741741 (24 hours/day)
Resources on this webpage.
Internationally: