Tag Archives: Victoria

DINKS on the Farm (2007-2008)

In 2007 I lived with my boyfriend Brock in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom penthouse that we rented for a whole lot of money in Victoria’s James Bay neighbourhood. We both worked for the provincial government. While extremely happy (after all, we’d found each other), life had become a routine of working long hours (Brock), guzzling homebrewed Sauvignon Blanc (Heather) and putting off having babies. We didn’t even have cable TV to distract us.

Byron: “Maybe you should just buy a bigger TV.”

The view from our fancy-pants penthouse, overlooking Victoria’s James Bay.

We both have fond, vague memories of a simpler, rural life — Brock on his parents’ organic strawberry farm, me riding my tricycle on the backroads of Merville. It kind of made sense to embrace massive mortgage debt, an inconvenient commute over the Malahat in dark winter rain storms, and the infinite possibility of 10 acres of undeveloped farmland.

Also, I was getting fat.

Thus: a farm.

Start reading:

March 2007

May 2005

Fake Boobs – May 1, 2005 – 12:31am
Q and I ended up going to Moxie’s with a bunch of people I hadn’t met before. There were some VERY young girls there — 18 year olds — and at least two of them had breast implants. I AM SHOCKED.

I mean, they were certainly something to stare at — along with fake ‘n’ bake tans & faux french manicured nails these girls were the closest thing to real-life Barbies I’ve ever seen. But 18????? I didn’t even think that was legal.

Regardless, it was fun and weird and new. One girl with spectacular (and rumoured to be natural) breasts had phenomenal cleavage, and she was also (drunk but) friendly.

I was also going to comment on how the moxitini and double-bellini & a Crispy Crunch shot I drank had little to no alcohol content, but considering how weird the company was I might actually have been drunk.

Strawfree & Loving It
I cleared the rest of the straw today from Seamus & Caramel’s porch haven. YAY! It’s been haunting me, but now I can sleep again. Caramel, of course, supervised the entire process, and once I had swept and washed the porch she pissed right in the middle of it.

And Peter
I cut his nails today but he does this weird hyperventilating thing and it triggers unpleasant flashbacks to Molly dying of shock after her operation (moment of grief . . . )

so I only did his front paws. I’ll have to corner him again to get the back ones clipped, but first I’ll have to regain his trust.

One Last Thing Before Bedtiime
I miss my RockStar & I want him back in Canada. Preferably here, in my apartment.

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Bunnies on TV! – May 1, 2005 – 8:57am
I’ve been avoiding the Comedy Network so as not to have awkward run-ins with my ex-stalkee Levi MacDougall. However, I think I’ve satisfied the mandatory Avoid Common Spaces rule for breakups, so I’m watching channel 41 again and loving it.

Wisdom Teeth Update
My top teeth have withdrawn back into the gums so there’s no sign of them at this time. My bottom teeth, on the other hand, have undergone great change. On the left, I keep feeling a kind of pressure under the gum and I’m concerned that there might be an impending Situation. The top of the tooth is lovely and sharp — I feel like a shark. On the right, things are going fine, with a similarly pointy tip. I have a referral for a dental x-ray, but my innate Let Nature Be tendencies don’t like the idea of an x-ray. So I’ll just wait until it hurts. Yes, that’s definitely more civilised.

Sticks & Avoiding Them
Normal homes don’t have chewed up, pointy sticks protruding from under couches, chairs, and beds. I’m fairly sure of this.

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My Future – May 2, 2005
Sadie the Tarot Card Reader told me some neato stuff yesterday. The weird part was that she uses the same deck that I do, so I had my own interpretation of the cards. Whenever I try to read my own cards (which you aren’t supposed to do) I get the same ones, and they’re always the crappy “Hard Work” cards. I’ve always thought that the deck was telling me to fuck off. BUT I got the same cards with Sadie, and she interpreted them as “Creative Potential” and “Trying to find an outlet for your message” which I like infinitely better.

Also, I pulled The Tower which means Sudden Lightning-Bolt Traumatic Incident and I was VERY interested to see how she’d spin it. Apparently the foundations that I’ve laid thus far will come apart and my life will be entirely different from what I’ve already established. That’s not so scary.

I Am Not Obsessing
Exactly how long does it take to go to California, see a concert, arrive back home, and take a ferry to Victoria?

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Writing to Ryan – May 2, 2005
Come home!!!!!

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Tent Caterpillars! EW! – May 3, 2005
I’ve never considered tent caterpillars significant, but while walking this morning I noticed clumpy shit-like gobs in the tree branches and finally I realised that these gobs were not in fact shit, but rather cobwebby nests covered in furry caterpillars. EW.

So I tried to avoid walking under the branches, since caterpillars might fall on me, but that’s very difficult to do in Uber-Green Victoria. I battled a panic-attack, and survived. Again, ew.

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Coxswain AND Rowing SuperStar – May 4, 2005
One of our rowers didn’t show up yesterday so I was Bow Seat #3 and I got to row for the first time ever. Aside from being certain that the oar would knock me into the disgusting sewage waters of the Gorge Waterway, I had a great time. (And I was never knocked into the disgusting Gorge sewage water.) I’m getting all sunshiny from our practices, and I feel pseudo athletic, plus I’ve been jogging a fair bit — I’m strangely healthy these days.

As for the Running
I always thought it was a consipiracy among masochists, the whole “Running Feels Good” thing, but I’m starting to like it. Maybe this is because I get a chance to listen to my Eminem CDs without any distractions, which then lets me notice more smart subtleties in the songs . . .

Being a Writer & Zen
You can be a writer/artist without ever writing/creating anything. My (expensive) years in UVic’s writing program were about BEING a writer as much as WRITING. I mean, listening & watching & being still & ruminating & asking & taking notes & trying to explain what you see to other people. It’s about being present, and noticing how amazing it is that EVERY SINGLE BLADE OF GRASS LOOKS A LOT LIKE EVERY OTHER BLADE OF GRASS — CRAZY COINCIDENCE????? “Wonder” kinda describes it.

And then, during and after five years of being taught to be A Writer (aka Live in the Present), my counselors & doctors kept suggesting that I learn meditation, yoga, study Buddhism, read up on the power of Breathing . . . which is the same thing. Sort of. Except that my Writer Version Of Being doesn’t involve religion or spirituality, except in the whole Wonder At the World sense.

This is just another example of me inventing something that’s already been patented. Like iPods. Like bars. Like themed Monopoly. Goddamn.

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I’m Mentioning My Sister – May 4, 2005 – 5:54pm
AND SHE’S HAVING A BABY!!! And it’s a boy. They’re going to name him Jared Robert Babich.

I was just the usual proud, stunned, et cetera until I saw the ultrasound picture today, and The Thing inside my sister’s gut actually looks like a human being. It was the creepiest thing ever. Like a Real Life Sci-Fi Alien Beast. Also, he’s beautiful. Evy & Jared will be amazing parents, partly because they have a really healthy sense of humour, but also because there’s so much freaking love in our family.

Bureaucracy
Usually I’m immune to its effects, since we work independently of the ministry, but today we had training that was Uber-Governmental and I’ve had to accept that I hate bureaucracy. I hate the stupidy, the “I’m following the ass in front of my face” mentality . . . and I’m REALLY grateful that my normal work environment manages to avoid that . . . aroma . . . and also that I am NOT a government-lifer. One day, free from the bonds of student debt, I will fly free and be a starving writer, like I’m meant to be.

And the Need For Escape
Aries nature, perhaps. Or it’s spring and I have no one to cuddle with in bed. Whatever, I’m restless and need to have an adventure ASAP. Jessie and I are planning a spontaneous runaway up island. (This epitomizes the terrible beauty of being a young adult, sans responsibilities, but with responsibilities: planned spontaneity. How sad.) The running thing has been a pleasant escape from the static boredom of rainy winter, but now I need a REAL escape. Something involving mad driving on an empty highway, loud girly music, no showers except for frigid water skinny-dips, and meals of smoked salmon in newspaper. No crackers. You know, back to nature. Bestial and such.

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Oops – May 5 2005 – 8:37pm
I laid down for a little nappy nap after work today, and my alarm didn’t work (aka didn’t wake me up), and I ALMOST missed my rowing practice. I ended up Victoria Taxi-ing it down to the gorge, and luckily our team captain Rueben was looking out for me on the dock because our whole team was practically in the boat and ready to go. I felt like a total gomer. And then, everything was going well — I was yelling the right things — but then we smashed oars with another boat. Personally, I accept only 50 per cent of the blame for this, due to our coach who was directing us at the time.

Regardless of all incidences, it was SO MUCH FUN and everyone did well. I’m still learning how to properly project my voice in the boat, and I had a lot of trouble relearning port/starboard after having the terms reversed when I was rowing last Tuesday. It was blue sky and sunshine, and dinner tasted extra great, and now I’m watching New Waterford Girl on CBC. I love this movie.

Future Plans
Liv called and asked me on a girly date, so I’m meeting her at 4 tomorrow and we will eat sushi and/or drink martinis and/or browse for books, et cetera. Also, Q is having a party Saturday, which is really just an excuse for us all to forget about work because I’ve started dreaming about newspapers, and it’s been a tough week for Jessie’s clients, and we ALL need a vacation ASAP. Sunday is Momma’s day, so I will send my momma love all day, on the hour.

And About This Whole Love Thing
It’s summertime now, and I don’t know if my Sexy Crazy RockStar ArtistMan will even let me know when he’s back in Canada, so I’m just going to run around the block a lot, and drink cider, and row row row my boat, and work, and bond with Q & Jessie & Liv, and compile a package o’ love for Momma Evy, and love my rabbits, and write my next Brilliant Play/novel/story/what-have-you.

And if a Smart & Sexy Richmond RockStar happens to appear on my porch one day, that’d be really nice.

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Writing to Ryan – May 5, 2005
I want to go on a picnic.

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RESTLESSNESS – Friday, May 6, 2005 – 8:41pm
AAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Liv is Super Dooper
I was exhausted after work. Early hours all week + two rowing practices + later nights + sunshine warm weather = me practically asleep at 2:35pm. Liv was sympathetic and let me cancel our girly date plans. Instead of sushi and books, I bought some pjs and slept for 3 hours on Q’s couch. Then Q came home and we took Celeste for a walk on Dallas Road, where she flirted relentlessly with a number of small doggies. Then we bought old pepperoni pizza from Village’s and ate it and now Q is napping and I AM RESTLESS, waiting to go see some dick-flick at 10pm.

I NEED AN ADVENTURE
My dreams are getting weirder and more work-focussed and more difficult to distinguish from real life. This is sketchy. I need a break.

Possible adventures include:

  • running away up island with whomever has a car and/or the will to travel with me;
  • falling madly in love with some random (but worthy) man who lives in Victoria and therefore is around to entertain me;
  • writing the Great Canadian Novel;
  • adopting a new neurosis or psychological disorder, which has always provided amusement in the past;
  • moving;
  • having a baby (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha);
  • learning something new, like Greek or performance poetry. I’d like to know how to make my own T-shirts — not the shirts themselves, just the designs. Silk-screening, whatever.

Ugh.

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Hungover on Mother’s Day – Sunday, May 8, 2005
I had fun last night. Q made Newcomb Caesar Salad and I made spaghetti, roasted garlic bulbs, cut up french bread . . . Lance & Spencer came over for dinner, and they each brought a bottle of wine. Being petite, I didn’t last as long as the boys. Q tried to wake me up on the couch and apparently I said something about how the teachers were trying to kill us.

Anyhoo, it’s a rainy morning now and I’m well-rested (if fragile).

Best Purchase EVER
Yesterday I found these crazy Christmas lights with each bulb surrounded by a fake flower. I bought three strands: 2 maroon rose strands and one sunflower strand. One of the rose sets is now above my kitchen sink, and it looks so pretty. I’m contemplating where to put the others. Rabbit-accessibility is a concern, due to Peter’s affection for electrical cords. If there had been more than three I would have covered my whole house. Also, you can use them outside too. PRETTY.

And Now, Politely Waiting For Q to Wake Up
I want to go home and make a pot of tea. I’ve inadvertantly spent both weekend nights here at Q’s, and that always leaves me feeling displaced. I need Heather-scale surroundings! I need my tea cosy and favourite nammies! I need Peter to be under my bed! It’s raining and I don’t have proper rain clothes . . . I might have to risk it.

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Mallrats on VHS – Sunday, May 8, 2005 – 5pm
Sometimes I’m in the mood to watch Kevin Smith, and sometimes I’m not. The acting, dialogue, and premise are alternately painful and brilliant.

I briefly considered falling love with Jason Lee, a Kevin Smith constant and (ex?) pro-skateboarder. (I already have his autograph, thanks to Q & Rachel who caught him on the ferry one day.) But I’m tired of the whole love/stalking thing . . . I’d really like an actual, living man to adore me. That’d be a pleasant change.

Side Effects May Include
I still feel icky from last night. Once home, I slept and half-watched my movie, ate some pesto fettuccini, swiss cheese & pickles, showered, changed into clean pjs . . . I drank a pot of tea, well aware of the risk: either the caffeine would decimate my headache or make it worse. My hands are shaky and sweaty, and I feel extremely unsexy as a result. Goddamn drinking.

Bunny Loving
And Peter’s ignoring me. Here it is, Mother’s Day, and I’m getting nothing from the three living creatures that I feed, water, and love. Ungrateful rodents. I hope he’s okay. He hasn’t been very friendly since his pedicure, and I’m a little worried that he’s hiding some sort of wound or trauma. Bunnies do that — they feign health so they don’t get picked off by the wolves. It makes it very difficult to be a Bunny Mom.

Not My Wittiest Day
Blah. How come I’ve finally got this whole work-money-writing-independence-friends thing together, and now I just feel gross & want to run away? I remember being so excited, back in the age-thirteen-highschool years, about being a grown up and writing, and having my own income, and surrounding myself with things that I think are AMAZING & BEAUTIFUL and now I’m here. It’s the strangest thing. Time just keeps on trucking. But I don’t know what I want now, since I have most of the things I’m SUPPOSED to want, and most of the things that I can control. Sadie the Psychic pulled The Tower during my tarot reading (actually, I pulled it) and I’m starting to crave the lightning, foundation-shaking trauma that it portends. GIVE ME SOMETHING NEW.

(Knock on wood, as I really don’t want to be unemployed and struggling with student loan debt again . . .)

GIVE ME SOMETHING NEW BUT NOT FINANCIALLY TROUBLING.

Maybe I need to take a class or something.

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Motherly Wisdom on Mother’s Day – May 8, 2005 – 8:36pm
Mom solved my headache with some EXCELLENT motherly advice: drink another cider.

All better! Yay!!!!!

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Writing to Ryan – May 8, 2005
I’m making this more complicated than it has to be — silly Twit that I am — so just get on that fucking ferry and come visit. I will not seduce you. I want to know why I am in love with you when we’ve never had a proper conversation. I want to know if I can keep loving you, or if I should move on to Ben the Neighbour or whomever happens to fall in love with me next. I HATE feeling un-special, and I won’t be able to tolerate this much longer! Gees.

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Bunny Loving: Caught in the Act – May 9, 2005
I checked on Seamus & Caramel this morning, and they were on the outside couch, with Seamus straddling Caramel in his “C’mon, let’s have sex, honey bunny” style. He was licking the top of her head (aka grooming) and her eyes were closed. I knew that eventually Seamus would try to take things “to the next level” so I stopped watching (out of respect for their privacy). Bunny foreplay. It’s a beautiful thing.

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Meanwhile, Peter Just Keeps on Eating – May 9, 2005
And yet, he doesn’t get any fatter. I think he’s losing weight. Or it’s just his winter coat coming off.

Running Without Eminem
I went for a run today but all my Eminem CDs are at Q’s so I had to find an alternate fast-paced soundtrack. I chose The Offspring’s Conspiracy of One and the pace was so goofy that I got a vicious running cramp halfway through my route. Stupid punk. I miss my Eminem. Kinda funny moment of irony, though: The Offspring shout out “you can do it!” while Eminem talks about “bitches.”

And a Bitch About Doctors
I’m almost out of my prescription Happy Pills so I called the drug store today to see if they could refill it without me having to go in & see my doctor. They said no. So I called the doctor’s office, to see if they could renew the prescription without me being there. No. SO I waited for an hour to talk to my doc for a few seconds, tell him about the new running-around-the-block exercise phenomenon, confirm that I’m still not crazy (when medicated), and get a refill on my prescription.

AND THEN there was a line-up at London Drugs so I had to wait to drop off my prescription. Despite the new aisles of summer accessories, I refused to wait for it to be filled. I’ll stop in some day this week. Anyhoo, the point is: WHAT A WASTE OF MY TIME. My doctor’s intentions are good: he wants to keep me on a tight leash with my prescription so he can check up on me and remember who the hell I am. But it’s a good hour-point-five of my day that I wasted inside, NOT napping or eating or snuggling with bunnies. Once every three months I endure this test of my (im)patience.

Other News, re: Babies + Prozac
I asked about taking meds when pregnant (because EVENTUALLY I plan to get knocked up — just not in the next few years). And my doc said it’s perfectly doable, with proper dosages et cetera. This is a HUGE relief, because even though I’d rather not risk my babies’ health with drugs, I doubt that I’ll ever be able to not be crazy without meds. Regardless of what happens re: my future mental health, at least I don’t have to worry about a med-free pregnancy, if it’s an issue.

And Speaking of Babies
Today I bought:
– maternity clothes*
– condoms**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

*for Evy, NOT me. Let’s be clear.
**and Q, no snide comments re: my sad lack of sexual prospects. I can already hear you giggling . . . dink.

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Inevitable Adventure – May 10, 2005
May 20: SWING DANCING!!!! It’s only a matter of time before I get all famous as a swinger. Or something.

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That ’70’s Show – Tuesday, May 10, 2005 – 9pm
When did Donna become blond? When did laugh tracks get so obnoxious?

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Unwelcome Mantras – May 11, 2005
These are the things that I say without thinking:
“I am the saddest person is the world.” (This one is easy to argue, since obviously I’m not. There are hungry, unsatisfied, terminal orphans out there with unsanitary drinking water and violence all around.)

“I’m a bad person.” (This one is also not true, since I’m actually a good person. I even give to charities, for chrissake.)

I’ve tried a lot of different ways to make these stupid thoughts go away. Prozac works very very well, generally. Lately, the running keeps my brain empty because I’m so focused on how much my legs hurt, and/or the metaphysical riddles posed by Eminem’s newest rhymes. Short term, I’ve tried sleeping, drinking, having a bath (the worst — just makes the mantras echo), dancing, snuggling with Peter, hiding in my apt, not opening mail, . . . Lately I’ve tried arguing with the thoughts. “I’m not really a sad or bad person, it’s this goddamn seratonin and my brain is making me think things that aren’t true. So there.”

I don’t know if this is a related symptom, but I keep noticing that I’m talking to myself. At first, I just addressed the bunnies, because then it wasn’t TOO weird, but when the bunnies are tunnelling at home and I’m on Yates Street it’s not really an acceptable excuse. Whatever. Sometimes you have to be loud to shout down the static.

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An Alternate Passion – May 11, 2005
The UNO Theatre Fest! I’m getting tickets . . . book your Time With Heather NOW to get a free theatre show!

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Waiting for Q to Drink a Beer so We Can Go Walk Celeste On Dallas Road in the Sunshine – Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Today has been a good Mail Day. I sent off a parcel for Evy, and I received two thingies in the mail: a cd with pictures of my future nephew, and a horoscope book for those born in the Year of the Monkey (aka me). (I also got something from the states that I ordered, but I want to mess with Q before I reveal what it is. Hee hee. I bought two, but I’m only giving Ryan the RockStar his if he shows up in Victoria to visit me. I’m tricky that way.)

Knocking on Wood
I’ve noticed that when I say I’m going to do something in the future, I inevitably end up not doing it. For example: sushi with Liv last week, but I was too tired so I had a nap instead. Or drinking faux vino in the sunshine because I was done work early — actually, I slept from noon to now.

You know, it seems that SLEEPING is messing with my plans. Hmm. But it feels SO GOOD!!!!!! At least I’m not a crack whore.

There’s Lettuce on my Porch
Kim the Bunnies’ Fairy God Mother planted it and is making it grow. I feel pseudo-enviro, with healthy plants outside my windows.

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Once Again, Jinxed By Stated Intention – Thursday, May 12, 2005
I knew it would happen. Q fell asleep and we never went on our doggy walk. Again, sleep as the destructive force. THIS time, though, I managed to stay awake and contemplate the direction of my Next Masterpiece Play.

My Next Masterpiece Play
In third year UVic I had to meet a deadline and write a short story but I’d been reading a LOT of Kerouac and feminist theory and that was all I could think about. Oh, and running away from all the stressful factors in my life and living by a lake.

So I sat down to write this goddamn story that was due the next day and suddenly there was this this diarhea of words — I ended up writing “(Title Goes Here)” which is now my most favourite bit o’ self-writing ever. I want to make this story into a play, because I love it and it deserves to be seen. But it’s a single-person narrative which doesn’t necessarily translate too well onto stage. Monologues get dull, you see. So I’m trying to figure out how to mix it up, with more characters/dialogue, more movement. More special effects. It’s all about the special effects.

Currently my working title is “On the Rag” which I think is fucking hilarious, but sometimes it sounds cheesey and I think I might have to change it. (“On the Rag.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!)

In Other News
I DO NOT want to jinx a certain visit from a certain MWWIAIL this weekend. So I will not mention it.

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Generation X – Thursday, May 12, 2005 – 8:15pm
I bought two copies of Douglas Coupland’s defining piece o’ writing. I’ve been buying everything in twos, it seems, lately, because I keep finding things that I want my muse/mentor/protege/MWWIAIL to experience alongside me. Also, I bought two copies of How to Heal the Hurt by Hating because I leant my only copy to Liv’s roomie Jen (or Jean?) four years ago and never got it back. Best break-up book ever. So I bought one for me, to keep, and one to lend. The only part of it I don’t like is that The Other Girl in the book is named Heather and that is very confusing.

Row Row Row Your Boat
Practice was really fun today. Coach Fraser kept saying that he would leave the commands to me, and then he’d say them. Silly Fraser. Also, I got all giggly when I had to yell “hard!” for ten strokes. (Hee hee. Try it.)

ALSO, someone (I think it was Andrew) yelled “Heather!” from the bank today — he was wearing a bike helmet so I’m pretty sure it was Andrew. He’s a biker guy. Everyone thought I was pretty cool for having someone recognise me while on the water.

Schmew Shmew
Okay, hoping not to jinx things: I have a date with Liv tomorrow. YAY! Hopefully sushi. The best part of having a whole bunch of different groups of friends is that everyone loves sushi, and if I stagger our dates I can eat sushi multiple times each week.

Also, I am very pleased (although scared shitless) that TMWWIAIL is coming to visit me this weekend. How exactly do I make someone bond with me and love me and like me???? Is there an established strategy for this kind of situation? I was so focused on getting TMWWIAIL to visit me that I never actually considered what the hell I’m supposed to do to entertain him.

Strategy thus far: I’m going to make pie. (This might be unfair, considering the quality of pie that I make, but I’m going with my strengths here. Alternate/additional suggestions are always welcome.)

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Writing to Ryan – May 12, 2005
happy happy happy happy happy!

I am so very glad that you are coming to visit me. I should be too grown up and mature to be so affected by the attention of a man, but pshaw I’m excited and smily nonetheless. YAY!

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Consuming Via VISA – Friday, May 13, 2005 – 9:13pm
Liv and I successfully managed to have our date!!! YAY!! We went shopping and had steak dinners and drank martinis — Liv LOVES her S&Ms. Then SuperQ drove us to a family home in Saanichton and I bought a new bedframe. It’s a “loft bed” which means that it’s a bunkbed with only a top part. And it’s made of metal, so Peter won’t eat it, and it’s a double, with is the ideal size for my home. Coworker Duncan pointed out the difficulty that the ladder might pose, when drunk or lusty, but I have an extremely comfy couch so that’s not an issue. Also, I get room for a FORT, so that makes up for any potential inconvenience. What other 25 year old do you know who has a fort????

Anyhoo, it’s a big IKEA frame so we left the family alone to bond and disassemble. Hopefully I can draft a large-car owner to help me pick it up sometime this week. YAY! No more milk crates! I’m a grown up!!!!! With a fort!!!

Also
I’m so sleepy. And it’s not just the cosmos. Peter woke me up at 5am with bunny Ninja kicks and loving, et cetera. I can’t resist a friendly bunny. Also, he’s been growling sometimes, which is his way of wanting to play Monster (our game where I flick his tail and he attacks me). So I feel very attended-to lately. My plan for the next hour = shower + nammies + BED.

Tomorrow
I am making pie. For TMWWIAIL. And for me. And if we can’t eat it all, then I might maybe share with Jessie & Justin & Q & Liv & co. But TMWWIAIL is a young’un, and I won’t be surprised if we manage to eat two whole pies between us this weekend. Also, I make great pie. I could probably eat both pies myself. But then my belly would grow, and I’d have to wear maternity clothes. Which wouldn’t be too bad — like bonding long distance with Evy — but really, that’s foolish. Homer Simpson in a mumu, et cetera.

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Heather In Love – May 16, 2005
I was very busy this weekend so no present-tense updates. Here’s a rundown:

Friday: bonded with Liv.

Saturday: Cleaned my dump of a Bunny House. I learned that if I scrub with a scrubby rather than a sponge, my bath tub changes colour!!! Also, Peter’s been living the good life under my bed, what with all his dust bunny friends, but I massacred the mofos and he spent the rest of the day mourning. THEN I got all pissy because my RockStar was late (he missed his ferry – goddamn ferries) so I went for a doggy walk with Q, Celeste, and Lelande and drank Growers to Go. THEN we had dinner @ Ming’s, and my RockStar showed up, and all was good thereafter.

Saturday Night & Sunday until 2: None of your goddamn business. I mean, gees, Love is a personal thing and certainly not appropriate for this kind of public forum. But I had fun and I am very much most certainly in love.

Sunday after 2: went for brunch at Pag’s and crossed paths with Matte so I grabbed him and made him come eat with Q & Lance & Chris & me.

Moment of Surreal Coincidence That Seemed Kinda Normal Since I’d Already Had Such a Surreal Weekend
So there I am at Pag’s, with Q and Matte on either side, and there’s Kent paying his bill at a table!! So weird. He was all sunny and I am once again proud of my transformative powers. We intend to have tea this week. I love my boys. They should start a union.

Back to Sunday After 2
And THEN Q and I picked up my new bed from a lovely family in Saanichton and eventually I started assembling it, and I am a fricking SuperHero because I was lifting/holding/assembling these huge & heavy pieces of steel all by myself. Then Q came over and helped me do the tall bits, and we ate leftover Ming’s, and then he left and I spent my first night in my AWESOME FORTRESS-LIKE SECRET HIDEAWAY loft bed.

Peter’s Feelings About the Situation
Peter is very confused. He keeps skittering around, trying to find his old burrow (aka under my bed).

Oh and Also
I am in love.

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Living With a Puzzled House Rabbit – May 16, 2005 – 8:09pm
I feel guilty. Poor Alpha Bun. He’s completely lost in the apt — as if his burrow just went away for awhile and will eventually reappear if he tunnels enough. Open spaces aren’t his favourite, and his usual route from porch to kitchen is without cover and he doesn’t know what to do other than sit in the middle of my floor (where the burrow used to be) and wiggle his nose at me.

New Bastion of Creativity
My fort-area under my new bed is high enough for me to stand without ducking. My desk (w/computer) and other shite fit into this space nicely, and with the neon green curtain I bought today I feel all secluded and intense. A great space for writing and et cetera. All I need are some more of those flower lights.

& a Thank You to My Tolerant Friends & Family
They’ve endured my bitching and occassional bitterness and fury and frustration and grief @ there being no men/man for me on this goddamn island. And now they’re ridiculously patient with my Squishy In Love Giddiness and Coy Hickiness and they haven’t yet told me to shut the fuck up about how great TMWWIAIL is and how he’s exactly right for me and how sexy he is and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah . . .

So thank you to Liv and Q and Jessie and my family. You’re all so patient, and I appreciate it.

Evy “Momma” Walker
Evy just called — she got her parcel o’ maternity clothes today and she likes them! I’m so glad. I was tricky and sent her a yellow shirt so I’d be there in spirit. Also, she looks great in yellow.

Speaking of Family
Q is ever supportive of me but he’s also family so he mocks me and he sent me this link to a video that celebrates gay boyfriends. It’s fricking hilarious.

Also, let me say that I’m pretty sure TMWWIAIL isn’t gay: he cuts his own hair and his boot has a hole in the toe. Hopefully my gaydar has improved to the point where I will avoid any future . . . incidents . . . although I do love my (small) collection of gay ex-boyfriends, and I support any more of them coming out. (Anyone? Anyone?)

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Writing to Ryan – May 16, 2005

List Of Crazy Coincidental Similarities:
Kevin Smith, Jason Lee, Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker’s Guide, Kerouac & co., eyebrows, bleached hair, April birthdays, Grower’s raspberry, anti-cynicism / naive openheartedness, Johnny Depp, cold sweaty feet, issues re: craziness, hot water, Snugglies for babies, love for beautiful people, and undoubtedly more as yet undiscovered.

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And Whatever You Do Today – May 17, 2005
Don’t forget to VOTE!

Even if you don’t have a fucking clue, just show up @ where you’re supposed to go and make a pretty drawing on your ballot. At LEAST you’ve shown that you MIGHT vote if you had a fucking clue. That counts for something.

This includes voting for your MLA, AND voting yes or no in the referendum on electoral reform.

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This Website is Non-Partisan, But SERIOUSLY – May 17, 2005 – 9pm

“We ran a non-partisan campaign.”
– Jenny Sims, BC Teachers’ Federation

Adventures on the Gorge Waterway
It was raining for a bit during rowing practice and my rain hat blew off into the sewage waters of the Gorge. EW.

Also, Coach Fraser gave me a megaphone today (’50’s cheerleader style) and I COMPLETELY ABUSED my power as coxswain.

And Now
Back to watching the election results . . .

 

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In Other News – May 18, 2005
I am looking forward to: winning the lottery on Friday (my office bought tickets); having a nap; tonight’s final episode of America’s Next Top Model (I have no idea why I watch this — it’s the only reality show I still watch after my UVic-era Survivor/Big Brother/Amazing Race/The Mole binge); a possible quality visit with TMWWIAIL this weekend (which I will not talk about too much, because I don’t want to get all excited and then not have it work out and then have 2/3 months of long-distance separation in which to agonize); and working in gov’t post-election.

Just when my workday becomes a routine, everything changes. While my plan is still to stop this gov’t madness once the student loan has been slayed, I’m nonetheless excited about the next four years, if it takes that long for me to move on. Oh, the drama of an Official Opposition . . .

Speaking of Priorities
I celebrated the election (I LOVE DEMOCRACY) with a crappy-for-me A&W mozza burger combo for lunch today. I briefly considered buying a healthy deli sandwich instead, but what the hell, curves are sexy and I really really like mozza burgers.

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Weird Moment of Happiness – May 18, 2005 – 8:35pm
My two favourite girlies are the finalists on America’s Next Top Model. I know, there are other things to be happy about (more ethical, world-peace-type things) but I’m still pleased.

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Sleepy sleepy – May 19, 2005
I’ve been staying up too late these days, and now it’s Thursday and I’m so tired. I hope I get to have a nap before rowing — AND tonight is the 2-hour season finale of CSI so I MUST stay awake to watch that.

tv — ew
I really don’t watch a lot of tv. I hate tv — it’s the devil. And now, with America’s Next Top Model over, and the CSI season finale, I will no longer be tempted to waste my time. Until September.

May Long Weekend!!!!!!!
YAYAYAYY! Not only do I get a three day holiday, I also am very excited about all the parties we have planned. Ben’s moving bash is on the 21st, and Spencer’s birthday is the 22nd, and in medias res plays the night of the 22nd, and TMWWIAIL will (hopefully) stay with me that night too.

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Drinking the Gorge – May 20, 2005
Most disgusting experience EVER EVER. We were trying a new rowing thingy, and I got splashed with so much water that I was SOAKED and also some of it got into my mouth. I’ve tasted Gorge water. ICKY GROSS EW.

New thing learned: Gorge water = sewage, gasoline, seagull piss, garbage, Georgia Strait ocean water = tastes really really salty.

Also, Coach Fraser laughed at me and said I looked “cute.” I think he’s in love with me. Oh, the drama.

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Calla Comes to Town – May 20, 2005 – 10:45pm
I have back-up this weekend! Calla is here to visit with and entertain the Q while I recuperate from a draining week and look forward to seeing TMWWIAIL. Calla has known Q since preschool, and she knows how to manage his . . . needs . . . and I feel like I found a really good babysitter. YAY! A real weekend of rest!!! Knock on wood.

Also, Napping
Kate let me run home early today. This might be because I was sleeping at my desk. Anyhoo, I got home and was in bed by 2:30pm, and then I slept straight through to 6 when Q & Calla picked me up for dinner. Now I’m going to bed again. I love my bed. I love sleeping. I love it even more when TMWWIAIL is sleeping beside me, but I’ll make do with what I have tonight.

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Party @ Ben’s House – May 21, 2005 – 9:09 pm 
Ben is moving to James Bay so we’re drinking. I’ll take any excuse, to be honest.

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Sunday Shmunday – May 22, 2005 – 11:33 am
My momma’s in Ireland digging out our family roots, and Jessie’s in Tuscany with a whole bunch of couples doing the wedding thang. I better get some quality postcards.

And Shmand
So apparently Q’s ex-neighbour Ben won a Beaver-Making Lego competition when he was twelve. That’s a pretty great claim to fame. Also, he’s sorta friends with Sketchy James, the guy that Jen left us for (or we left Jen for), and so both James & Jen were at Ben’s last night. Q had some deep conversation with Jennifer but I didn’t. Instead, I managed to make friends with the only gay boy at the party that we hadn’t brought. I’m a fricking magnet, I tell you.

AND SHMAND
I’m hungry. I can’t decide whether I should eat something or wait until our planned breakfast. That means another hour or three of no food . . . so I’ll eat something now. Yep.

On That Note
Sadie the Tarot Card Reader said that I sometimes don’t know something is true or that I’m thinking it until I say it aloud. Isn’t that perceptive?!

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IMR Aftershocks – May 23, 2005 – 10:13 am
I saw Ryan’s band play for the first time last night and I felt like the Best Groupie Ever. CoWorker Duncan told me to look nonchalant and aloof from the audience, so I stood in the back (motivated mainly, I confess, from a fear of crowds) and tried to look apathetic but they were Very Good and also the audience people were amazing to watch, and there was this guy who was taping the show and taking pictures and I was trying to suss out* his intentions — pirate their tv footage, whatever — but in actual fact he’s the daddy of some guy named Adrian and he’ll send the pictures over to the band asap because I cornered him and made friends and asked him to. So I wasn’t as nonchalant as I feel I could have been. AND Ryan gave me a t-shirt.

*haven’t seen or used this phrase in a decade or two. Just for kicks . . .

More Band Stuff
And the audience people were saying things like “unbelievable,” and one guy came in during Hooner’s drum bit at the beginning of a song and he just zoned out and stared right at the stage and handed his Starbucks to his girl. Mesmerized. That’s the word.

Nathan advised me to position my Groupie-Self behind a speaker or something to avoid unsightly hard nipples and other signs of arousal, and on an interesting note I was leaning against a pillar in the back and I could feel the bass everytime there was a deep note. Vibrations are so much fun.

As For the Q
Quinn drove Calla to the ferry at 4pmish, so she wasn’t there to watch the show, but Quinn came by to pay his respects.

QUINN: “These children need a haircut.”

And then he left. But with love in his heart.

Moment of Horror
I thought for a second just now that I was growing Black Ape Hair on my knuckles, but it’s just the marker from admission last night. Ew.

And Now It’s Monday
So I’m going to make a pot of Red Rose and watch Kids in the Hall on DVD (Season one, Episode 19, then start in on Season 2). Also, I started reading the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime by Mark Haddon the other day, while waiting for my ride in the band’s Chevy, and it is FUCKING AMAZING. So I’ll probably read some more of that too. And maybe the Q and I will take Celeste for a walk, since it got sunny today.

Contemplating a Countdown
I might be risking my mental health, but I’m considering a countdown to when Ryan’s band (aka TMWWIAIL) is back in town. They are supposed to be in Vancouver again on July 17th, and might play Victoria the weekend thereafter. Ick, July 17th is really far away. I hate the idea of looking forward to the almost-end of summer. So NO COUNTDOWN. I need a hobby. Maybe I’ll run some more. Or make a quilt. Or write something brilliant.

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Getting Picked-Up By the Bus Driver – May 24, 2005
BUS DRIVER: You look very nice today. Very nice indeed.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Certainly disoriented — I’m not used to being:
1. complimented by my bus driver;
2. complimented at 6:45 am when I’m still half-asleep.

I think it might be the dress. Not only am I dressed like a 25 year old today; my dress has progressively ripped from the bottom up in the past few months, so the slit in the middle now reveals a fair bit of thigh. Inappropriately sexy for work? Maybe. To compensate, I brushed my hair today.

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch
I dreamt that I missed today’s rowing practice. However, I also dreamt that it was storming outside, so I didn’t feel TOO badly.

Also
I am currently awaiting postcards from:
– Jessie (Tuscany or someplace)
– Momma (Ireland)
– TMWWIAIL (B.C. ferry and/or Vancouver).

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And In Other News – May 24, 2005 – 3:39 pm
Q and I had lunch with my new friend Shawn today. I’ve only ever communicated with Shawn via email — he just moved from London, Ontario, and I’ve been trying to help him get a job here, as a friend of a friend. He’s very smart, I suspect. He wrote his Master’s thesis on themes of masculinity in Fight Club. That is fricking brilliant. Also, he’s tall and pretty. And potentially straight (I no longer assume these things). A great asset to our company, all around.

The BoxSpring of Dooooooom
Ever since I obtained my new loft bed my ratty ’70’s boxspring has been sitting in the entranceway of the house, hoping for some poor student to adopt it. Today I have given up, and some guy named Pete is going to take it away for me.

Which is quite ironic, considering that it was Peter the Alpha Bun’s industrious chewing that disqualified the boxspring as a charitable donation.

“Peter”
I’m glad I’m not named Peter. It’s a fine enough name, and certainly the best name possible for an Alpha House Rabbit, but it’s not a very good human name. Too many Cottontail associations.

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Oh, Did I Mention That I’m A Genie? – May 25, 2005
I am a Walking Breathing Drinking Good Luck Charm. Hold me tight and rub my belly — I will turn the stoplights green for you and make that wart disappear.

In Other News
I was scanning the news stories from last night and there was one on the Burn Victims’ fundraiser at the Pacific Coliseum, which is where TMWWIAIL & his boyz played last night. And whatdyaknow, I watched it and there’s a quick shot of them doing sound check stuff on the stage. Full on CLOSE UP ROCKSTAR SHOT of TMWWIAIL.

The Connection Here Being
TMWWIAIL rubbed my belly and twelve hours later he’s on BCTV evening news as a PNE RockStar. Just imagine what would happen if he gave me a massage.

Also
I’d really like a massage.

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Atomic Vaudeville, Episode #12 – May 25, 2005 – 6:48 pm
This is the strangest feeling. I am PERFECTLY HAPPY. I keep thinking of my group date tonight, with Liv & Spencer & his sister Jill, and of how, in an hour or so, we’ll all be sitting together waiting for the show to start at Atomic Vaudeville’s monthly cabaret. NORMALLY I dread commitments. NORMALLY I get all anxious about the zero-hour approaching, even when it’s for an event that I CHOSE and really want to happen, and I get restless and wish I could just go to bed. But tonight I’m really truly actually looking forward to my planned event. Stressfree. Worry free. Nothing but warm rushes and comedy to look forward to.

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Ugh – May 26, 2005
I felt like death this morning. I didn’t bother eating before the show and Liv and I lived up the drunken quota Jessie & I have set. I remember:
– laughing a lot
– the barguy offering to hold the last bottles of Grower’s Pear in reserve for us
– walking CAREFULLY onstage to mix Easy Bake chocolate cake mix in a martini glass
– Spencer getting a special public birthday invitation to have a 3some with the Bush Twins (he loves them)
– eating a BigMac and the Best French Fries I Have Ever Eaten In My Entire 25 Years Of Existing
– trying to write TMWWIAIL an email without being able to see, because I forgot my glasses at Q’s house.

Fun fun fun . . . I can’t wait until next month. It’s their Best In Show episode and they’ll be resurrecting all the best skits from the year. I voted for:
– One Man The Matrix
– Coyote Ugly bar dance
– The Bush Twins’ lesbiams & fembianism skit
– Star Trek, starring Mike Delamont as Captain Kirk.
If anyone would like to join our Primo Front Row Table, please let me know. Jessie will be back from Italy by then, and I’m SURE Liv will come if she can. The dates are June 29& 30 (Wednesday & Thursday).

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SUMMERTIME!!!! – May 26, 2005
It is summer outside. Blue sky, HOT HOT HOT, sunshine and everything is neon. In a good way.

When I say that I hate Victoria, I really just mean that I’m restless and bored and want something new. Victoria itself, despite being a little biosphere of non-weather and old white couples, is fine. My discontent is only a reflection of my impatient nature.

Maybe I just need a really good, long vacation.

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Deja Vu Conversations – May 26, 2005 – 8:10 pm
RANDOM GUY: Hey, Heather.
HEATHER: Hiya. What’re you up to?
RANDOM GUY: Going to work / home / et cetera.
HEATHER: I’m on a quest to find confetti / french fries / et cetera.
RANDOM GUY: Oh yah. So what’s new with you? Are you seeing anyone?
HEATHER: I’m in love.
RANDOM GUY: With that comedian guy? Levi whatever?
HEATHER: No, no. That’s over. I’m in love with a real person.
RANDOM GUY: Does he know you’re in love with him?
HEATHER: Yep.
RANDOM GUY: That’s good. Does he live here?
HEATHER: No. He’s a RockStar and he’s on tour.
RANDOM GUY: Ah.
HEATHER: It’s a little band, from Richmond. They’re good people. I think they’re in Edmonton / Saskatoon / wherever today.
RANDOM GUY: How does he feel about you?
HEATHER: I think he’s in love with me too.
RANDOM GUY: Oh. Well, good luck with that.
HEATHER: Thanks.
RANDOM GUY: We should have coffee sometime.
HEATHER: Tea.
RANDOM GUY: Right.
HEATHER: Okay, bye.

In Other News
My rowers did really well tonight! We weren’t as fast as we could have been for the time trials, but the strokes were clean and no one “caught a crab” (i.e. got their blade — that means oar — caught in the water). I was appropriately bossy and my rowers said I did a great job. We didn’t hit anything, and I managed to yell the whole time without giggling. I’ll let you know how we did when the results are posted tomorrow. The average time, apparently, is between 130 and 150 seconds to row 500 metres. And Coach Fraser said we looked great, so I expect us to be somewhere on the fast end.

Then we ate pizza and drank coke and I walked home with a belly that stuck out over my pants. Honestly, it’s as if my Government weight migrates around my body. Sometimes I have a second chin, sometimes I look pregnant, blah blah blah. Regardless, I have excellent self-esteem and my chameleon body only adds to the fact that I find the world HILARIOUS.

Still, I’m considering lifting weights or SOMETHING to get my arm-girth under control . . . but maybe that was just the BigMac I had last night . . .

Yucky Moment
I just rubbed my cheek and there’s a salty patch where Gorge Water splashed me, then dried. I HAVE GORGE ON MY FACE. I need a shower. EW.

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Jean-Vive the Princess’s Laureat – May 27, 2005
I was walking down Fort and this guy kept diagonalling across the road. Then at a stop light he commented on the sunshine and I concurred that it would be hot today – 29-degrees, I’ve heard – and we walked to Starbucks together. Jean-Vive (is that a name??) said that springtime birds & flowers give his heart butterflies, and he described silky leaves as “tasty,” and then he showed me his sketchbook. It has black pages and he draws in pen & pencil crayon.

There were:

  • two drawings of cars (one sporty thing, one minivan);
  • five houses with Escher-like perspective, which apparently all belong to “The Princess”;
  • flowers (including one drawing of “Magical Flowers”);
  • one airplane;
  • one space gun;
  • one space motorbike;
  • the console of the airplane: one version included a co-pilot seat;
  • the living room, bedroom, and observatory of The Princess’s House;
  • a portrait of his sister, when happy.

In Other News
I forgot until today, but Q and I are going to a schmancy dress-up event this weekend. I get to wear Grown-Up Clothes and be aloof.

Also, I am babysitting Celeste tonight. I think I might be bonding with Liv at some point as well, but we planned whatever it was while drinking at Atomic Vaudeville so I can’t remember what the hell we said.

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Movie 1 of 3: Closer – Friday, May 27, 2005 – 11:49 pm
Q said I’d hate it because of the infidelity. I am a passionate monogamist, thanks to my parents (and my inability to multitask), and yes I did SCREAM at the tv when Julia Roberts & co. kissed those other than their designated partners in love.

HEATHER: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t Do It!!!!!!

BUT saving grace was Jane Jones / Alice Ayers, the young one. The stripper. She had the best sort of attitude re: love. And she never cheated. At first I thought she was a weenie for being so dependent on the writer-guy, but then she got strong and it is HER version of love that I like. NOT cynical. Open and Honest and Sexy.

And I love it that at the end she’s walking and all the guys on the sidewalk turn to stare at her. Because while it might be because she’s beautiful, it’s ALSO because she’s the best at love and that makes her all shiny & pretty.

Next Up: Sideways 
And yet another load of laundry. I have too many clothes.

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Heaven = Q’s Rooftop Patio – Sunday, May 29, 2005 – 12:54 am
In addition to my new hammock, we also have a rug and camping chairs and a wading pool (which took 50,000 buckets of water to fill, fireline-style) + Neighbour Ben’s hibachi grill, Christmas lights, another rug, and a BEER FRIDGE.

Needless to say, I had a great Saturday. We grew from me and Celeste, to four of us, to eight, then Q & I left for his Grown Up Rotary Fundraiser Dinner, then we came back to a dozen or so rooftop boozers. Ben and I are contemplating setting up our Christmas trees. Tiki torches. Volleyball court.

Watching Team America 
So good. I really love the “panthers.”

And Then, After the Rooftop Patio
Leland wanted to go to Keroake, so we went to Soprano’s which Q & I have never been to. Leland sang “Take Me Out” and it was groovy. Two girls danced, and I cheered like a wild thing.

Songs That I Might One Day Sing @ Keroake:

  • “Dream” by Fleetwood Man (Q & I do a sweet duet)
  • “Did I Shave My Legs For This” (hopefully with my boyz as backup)
  • “Deeper Than the Holler(?)” by Randy Travis (childhood memories)

I love singing. I would have gone onstage but it was busy and the boyz wanted to leave because it would have taken too long to get our turn(s). Also, I have had about 6 ciders today and been awake for 17 hours and I find those factors make me braver.

Life As a Groupie . . .
is pretty fucking dull when the RockStar’s out of the province. I’ve temporarily retired my Groupie persona in favour of that steadfast favourite: Fruit Fly. It’s so much easier. And since I’m getting more physical affection from Leland & Lance these days than TMWWIAIL, it’s also a more practical lifestyle.

Speaking of Lance
One of my most recently-met ‘mos & a favourite . . . he was sunning himself on the rooftop and he took his shirt off. Now, I’m not a muscle girl, but he has biceps that look like baseballs and man-boobs (in a good way). Yiminy. I noticed a lot of the other boyz were having trouble completing their sentences.

Tomorrow
Is brunchy brunch. We go and eat bagels and jam and drink OJ & champagne and devour eggs benny, etc. We wait for one of my various ex-boyfriends (gay and/or straight) to show up. We get our Tarot Cards read, and the boyz compare skin care products, and we gossip about who is where and what’s going on in June. Quinn eats the fruit garnishes on my plate. And THEN . . .

Back To The Rooftop Patio 🙂

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Sith Happens – Sunday, May 29, 2005 – 10:36 pm
An excellent weekend altogether. I am sunny and calm and I spent all day with beautiful beautiful men.

After a day of brunch and drinking / pooling / napping on the roof, we went to see Star Wars III – The somethingsomething Sith and it was groovy. I’m in love with Natalie Portman. NOT because of Star Wars, but because of Closer. It was a pleasant surprise to run into her again at Silver City. Also, I liked it when Anikan/Darth Vader got his legs burned off. Haha.

Uber-Cynic
I’ve found my Arch Nemesis. Adam is a young’un — 21 or something, I think — but he’s the most cynical person I’ve ever met. We grate on each other. Also, he smokes.

Smoking & Why I Hate It
I respect free choice, but when one person’s choice interferes with another person’s choice it is NOT OKAY. I choose to drink, but I wouldn’t spike a non-drinker’s beverage. Other examples of inconsiderate choices: rape, murder, theft, and most other CRIMINAL activities. They are criminal because they demonstrate a lack of respect for another person’s choice to not partake in the activity.

Also, to be fair, I don’t mind when people smoke around me. Usually. Most smokers I know are considerate and they will position themselves downwind, and not smoke in closed spaces, and will not ash all over your pizza. Or whatever.

BUT when this consideration is not shown I get pissy. Why the fuck is your decision to harm yourself more important than my decision NOT to? If I was pregnant, I can only hope Inconsiderate Smokers would be a little more aware of the repurcussions of their actions. But why would that make a difference? They don’t want to hurt my baby– Why is it okay to hurt me?

Fuckers.

Anyhoo, that’s my rant. Good night.

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Jessie’s Back From Italy!!!!!!! – Monday, May 30, 2005
YAY!!!!!!!!!

AND Justin got a super sweet amazing dream job with Microsoft down in Seattle, which is the best thing ever (for him). We are all very very proud. (I want a Mini Cooper for Christmas, please, Super J.)

Too Many Words
When I’m not writing something big and focused I get verbal diareah (how do I spell that? Weird word). Q thought I was drunk today while walking Celeste on Dallas Road, but NO I’m just FULL of WORDS and they spew out like embarrassing word-farts. I need a good idea.

Or . . . I Could Make a Career Change
I want to be an Old Navy commercial dancing girl.

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About Surrey – Tuesday, May 31, 2005 – 3:56 pm 
I’m leaving for two days, to go to a work thingy in Surrey. Yay, Surrey. Yep. How exotic is that? Very exotic.

I AM excited about:
– the airplane
– the hotel
– the Moxie’s in the hotel.

And I have a Super Special Grown Up expense account to charge taxi rides, food, et cetera to. So that will be fun.

Bunnies are the best pets in the world, not only for the obvious reasons (??) but also because they can fend for themselves if I run away for a few days. In fact, I suspect they prefer it when they have the house to themselves.

Peter’s Pedicure
I was motivated to cut Peter’s nails yesterday. They are getting quite long and I was worried the new downstairs neighbour would hate me. So I clipped them, despite a lot of anxiety from both Peter & me. He seems okay, though, despite the trauma, and is (of course) eating right now. And I didn’t hear him scurry around last night on the hardwood.

Other Adventures
Tonight is my last rowing practice before the regatta this Saturday!!! And it’s sunny outside, after a day of rain, so that’s good. And Friday I’m playing Groupie with Liv for some band. I have Belfry tickets for earlier that night, so I’m hoping we can do a Culture/Rock combo.